Simplicity

I am becoming absolutely humbled by kindergartners. They don't wear the masks I do and they are a whole lot funnier. Seriously.

In particular, one girl in our class says whatever comes to her mind and it is providence that this particular girl also attends a Bible class after school on Wednesdays. So, let me give you a taste of the joy I see Christ working through her:

 Uno: As we were getting our kindergartners ready to go home (a midst hollering and pleas for coat and boot assistance) I hear "Raise your hand if you want to go to Bible club?" My attention was piqued and I turned toward the shrill voice. She continued,"You get to learn about Jesus, AND you get chocolate chip cookies! Sometimes you get dorritos!" I had tunnel vision and I went straight for my notepad and a pen. I am not sure if some of the rug rats were pulling at me for help with their winter garbs, but I had one thing in mind-- THIS is what is important. This little sage is speaking from the heart and it is obvious that the Holy Spirit is dwelling there. So I listened as she continued, "God made us out of dirt. Isn't that crazy!! Jesus died on the cross for us! Isn't that crazy!!"  And isn't it crazy that He did this for us? Or am I too hidden behind the mask and focused on pressing forward that I don't take the time to feel? Well, her joy and truth spread into my soul and continues to do so. Why? Because she spoke the word. Simply. It is sharp and pierces even the marrow. I was pierced to the marrow. I hope something like that happens when you think on her words...on God's words.

Dos":  This morning I asked the little sage (or is it Sagette?)  what we can use in some tall buildings to go up in down. "You use the alligator."

Tres: Later in the morning I was walking through the room as the students did some origami that I thought would be way too hard for them. It wasn't. Chalk that up as another humbling experience. I suck at origami and thought they would too. Come on, they are only 5-years-old! Nope. Not only are they living with less masks then me. They are smarter too. Anyway, that was an uncalled for digression so I might delete that later. So, I was walking around and I hear, in that same shrill voice, "We are Jesus' lambs." Apparently somebody at her table disagreed (probably trying to politely correct her on the fact that we are not sheep) and she responded with more passion that we are probably used to, "YES WE ARE!! I am Jesus little lamb!" And the depth of the matter thumped me around a bit. Feelings for my wife and her vulnerability and tenderness flooded my mind (that is her favorite hymn and she often sings it when she is tired or stressed) and I looked at my little student and saw how distraught she was concerning this kindergarten heresy. So I walked to her side, put my hand on her back, patted her, and then got down to her level and said to her, "You are Jesus' little lamb. Never forget that, o.k.?" And I pray she never does. Even when her family and friends dismiss these "myths" she has been introduced to. Because, like story uno, the word of God pierces the heart...deeper than the marrow. Praise God for such a gift that dwells so richly in the simple and unmasked life of a 5-year-old. 

Everything is Meaningless

There is a definite freedom in Solomon's "Everything is meaningless..." Because, first of all, that takes a huge pressure off the importance that we think everything seems to have. Second, it's not really true because everything has meaning in Christ.

 Even our mistakes. They point us to Him. They reveal our hearts.

Even our pain. It points us to His strength. It allows us to open up with one another and experience relationship that is vulnerable and has a heartbeat.

Even the depression, setting in when we feel like even the good times are meaningless. Because they aren't.

We are chasing our tails, round and round, as a pastor once said. But even in my looking back (and presently at) my tail chasing, I see my shepherd calling me back from my nonsense. And it comforts me. It liberates me from feeling as if I need to do everything correct and make the most of every single opportunity. But it doesn't make me want to sit around-- usually I do that when I am feeling paralyzed by the pressure of something. No, liberation begets joy, and joy gets me excited to embrace life, difficulties and all.

Yet in Christ I am enlightened as to what has value and I guess there are a great many things that I should view as not necessary or not worth huge stores of my energy or concern. I do, however, want to encourage all of you feeling broken.

With Christ everything is not meaningless.

If God is Loving

The argument that, a loving God cant send people to hell because I wouldn't wish that upon anyone, and I am not perfect...far from love. So, if God is love, there is no way he sends people to hell.

Have you heard this argument? It really makes sense. That's probably the first inclination that it is wrong. Talking about this a few weeks back, Paula and I really struggled with this idea. It is really hard to imagine God sending people to hell. Especially since we don't want that for anyone.

I forget how I started thinking about this, maybe it had to do with we view certain crimes. Regardless, I started thinking about the severity of even our small sins and how a Holy God might view them. So I imagined someone who didn't view rape/molestation or violent crimes as a big deal, kind of dismissing them. What would we think about that? Would that make a person more loving? Am I less like God because they make me think about justice and punishment? No, though it might tip over the cup of unrighteous anger about to spill over in my own heart.

The point is, it is a big deal, this sin we have. To God it is even bigger. That is what is so joyful about salvation in Christ. You are deserving of eternal torment, legs shaking, fingers pointing at you, even your own conscience, and Christ... He comes and pays the full price for our sins. He calls, redeems, and grows us into His body/church. It is amazing. The philosophical argument that pulled at our heart strings is contrary to the Bible and it's that simple. It's also heart strings pulling, while the Gospel is a real joy that smashes every stronghold and fills with life.

This grace frees, though I am perplexed by the thought of hell. In Restless, by Jennie Allen, she describes how a professor encouraged her to embrace the tension of who God is. When we don't do this, we "end up somewhere wrong" ( Allen, p. 30). And as I was pondering this yesterday, I was listening to Moody radio. I wanted to hear how these folks answered certain questions. After the show, one of the pastors explained how he was going to preach on infant salvation the following day. Did you catch that? Are you seeing the connection? God surely must...if...

Any thoughts on these matters? I am especially interested in thoughts on embracing the tension of who God is, without putting Him where He really isn't. So, shoot, and it doesn't have to be on the doctrines addressed here.

Love Wins

A few years back it seemed lots of pastors in my life were getting pretty pissed off about this book. Personally, Rob Bell seemed too trendy for me to even approach. Well, I dove into this a few months back as it seems the Lord placed some big fans of him in our lives. Maybe you've read his stuff and know his poetry and prose set up. There are many responses to this book that really dissect his theology, but I was convinced one night to approach this differently, rather satirically which is not my norm. So here it goes:

Imagine the voice of Leonard Nimoy reading this.

Christians are part of the in crowd.
You didn't know that?
They are.
You are.

If you aren't in, you're out.
Or are you?

There is a lady who wrote about being spiritually "raped" by her father.
This happened in the way he prayed.
My sister and I agree my Grandma did the same to us.
She had a picture of people walking to heaven
over an abyss, by way of a cross.
Thus she raped us...spiritually.

The Bible is kind of intense.
It is confusing.
Often I like to play the devil's advocate and just leave it at that.
It is confusing.

Jesus probably wasn't all knowing.
The rich man was someone Jesus had heard about.
Must have been on the front page a lot.
It's not like Jesus knew his heart.

Life is now.
Heaven is now.
If you don't like righteousness, this life will be hell.

Clean water for the poor is most important.
That's what my church does.
I like to ignore Jesus' words about living water
to the Samaritan woman.

Christians are mean and lots don't believe or leave the faith
due to this.
They are like the popular kids.
Remember when I said that in the first chapter?

Heaven is more like purgatory here on earth.
Racists and rapists, well,
they might go to a hell.
If there is one.

I don't make children stumble.
My sin isn't a big deal.

String theorists are dope.
They are talking about all these dimensions to life.
Turn and burn Christians suck.

Hell is the bad we make this earth.
Jesus just meant being crushed by the Romans
when he mentioned hell.

I don't use A.D.
It's C.E., yo.

Sodom and Gomorrah will arise.
Jesus said it.
Who knows what "Satan" is.
I think that is representative of purification.
Yeah, Satan purifies us.

So, like I said, hell=evil.
Bad stuff.
Not a real place.
Don't be so fundamental.

If God condemns someone I wouldn't
he's really bad.
Not good.
God is not good if people go to hell.
People being tormented in hell isn't a good story.

God respects our choices.
Eminem is dope.
I went to a comeback concert of his.
He wore a cross.
It doesn't mean much.

What doesn't mean much?
Well, the cross.
No, both ways.

First, it's a cool thing to wear.
Second, it pisses me off when people have signs that say
"Jesus died for your sins".

This can no longer continue as I got bored of hearing a man's opinion, after the anger subsided, was repented of, and Paula and I agreed we should be praying for this man( I urge you all to do the same for him and anyone else who is getting caught up in serious false doctrines). So, I don't recall what page I made it to. 120? 

Sometimes he really nailed it. Also, I think there is a time to play devil's advocate, but I felt Rob just left it at that. 

I think I am going to post on his major philosophical weapon, used by many others. Grace and peace...truly. 

Do Not Worry About Your Life.

Have you ever tried to teach/rebuke someone, only to realize you are a real hypocritical jerk, blinded with a timber in both eyes, needing the medicine more than the "sinners" you are trying to instruct in your lofty wisdom (and sickening pride)? I would like to introduce this topic with such a statement because of my own sin and struggle that is coming, gloriously, this evening.

I struggle with pride and you probably know that. When I look back at our wedding I can probably see my pride in its most hideous and outrageous state. Not only was I being given a bride I was completely undeserving of, I also suggested we have a sermon based on Luke 12 (Do not worry) because I thought everyone was worrying so much about our future and I wanted them to know that it was God in control. Sure, they all needed it, but I wish I could go back and really chew, meditate, and pray on the truth of that that I needed to hear.

I also struggle, big time, with worry. In my sinful pride I try to disguise this. Let me give an example. Maybe you can relate:

          Paula: "Why are you anxious?"

          Me, pacing back and forth: "I'm not anxious, why?"

          Paula: "Wow, you are really anxious."

          Me, after spilling a hot pizza's toppings all over my hand after pulling it out of the oven  (which created           a big blister I am now looking at): "No, I am just excited."

My dad saw it to, as I paced all over the house, driving him insane. My roommate saw it too, naming me "Shifty Danger Powers". My residents here at the refugee center saw it a few weeks back when the fire alarm went off at 4AM and I was left in a panic, even after I turned it off, opening the refrigerator and having dropped a huge bottle of ketchup (why was I even holding the bottle?). Someone said, "Hey Meester, cheell out." Hmm. Good point. Can you relate?

There is a good series of sermons on worry that we stumbled upon a few weeks ago: http://www.bethlehemlakeville.org/media.php?pageID=6&itemID=128   The sermons are the ones on leaving worry behind. As I listened to the first one in the series again tonight, I started jotting down some notes and I tried to connect the heart of the message to the scars of my own worry and the lessons God is showing me through it all.

Worry is fueled by fear. We want control, want to know that we are comfortable and that the seas will be calm for a while. That we will be able to retire. That we wont lose our job. That we wont get cancer. That we will graduate and get that teaching job. I realize this is pretty personal to some of you brothers out there. Some of you are going through some serious pain and I am praying for you.

The thing is, worry consumes us. We are invited to worry more by the world around us. Maybe its your mom, your friend, or someone who is horrified about you not having a plush retirement plan.

 It is a real bugger. It really steals joy. It takes the place of faith. They fight for the same spot. What? The same spot? Yeah. That is something I missed for these last 27 years-- When we worry, we are giving our hearts to fear rather than to God (in faith). This sermon really made me think of this, look it up, repent of it, and find hope in a life vigilant of this truth.

Brothers, the Lord loves us. He created this universe. He provides for the birds. He adores you and gave His life for you. Furthermore, Jesus can sympathize with us here! Go to Him in prayer. Go to one another as well in these times.

Our focus of self will increase worry. The more we look at the extent of His love, and who He is, the truth Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. ..For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I plan on continuing this focus on worry for a bit. Seriously, I want to know your thoughts on this and materials/scripture/etc... you have found helpful. God bless you all! (That was Tiny Tim's shout out for you all) Grace, peace, and God's abundant mercy upon you all!

Go Fish.

No, it is not supposed to be an orange turd. It is actually my attempt at reconstructing a very touching gift I received from a student yesterday afternoon. I thought I would try to use Microsoft Paint and my memory of looking at the gift throughout the day.

After I got observed today, I started getting a bad headache and I found a place to sit and talk with some students. They were playing house and I was trying, with all my might, to engage them and find out what their world is like. Well, I am sitting on a chair that is about six inches of the ground, and a little female student comes up with an envelope for me. It has my name which surprised me and I opened it. I wasn't sure, but I had a good idea that it was supposed to be a fish. It was. She said that it was a goldfish for me.

If you know me, I am a gifts person. I am also a lover of animals and we do not have any. For a moment, I felt like I had actually received a pet, so I told my student, "Did you know that me and my wife don't have any pets?" She replied, with the most matter-of-fact tone I have ever heard, "Well, you have one now."

And I do. And her actions spoke love into my heart and they got me talking with Paula and we've decided we gotta make a home for this fake goldfish. Maybe even name it. Bring it into class even. And, maybe on Valentine's day, pretend to do some magic and turn it into a real one (ok, didn't talk that over with Paula yet, but she had a similar idea).

I am really getting sentimental here, even forgetting the main point of this. Our righteous deeds are like "menstrual rags"...well, if we rely on them and not Christ (look at Isaiah 64 and surrounding). But in Christ, all my silly works are sanctified and our Father sees them in Christ's light. And they...we...delight Him. It is so humbling and joyful to consider this. It is so magnificent to imagine how much our Father loves us...how incredible He feels about us.

I want to leave some verses here that really comfort me, especially when things feel a bit overwhelming and hopeless (they never are hopeless though!)

 “Where, O death, is your victory?
    Where, O death, is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

 - 1 Corinthians 15:55-58

I am hoping to think on this often.  When I consider the depths of my sin and what I deserve, this victory...this love hits me so hard, giving me more joy than a scribbled goldfish. I pray that God would give you all a deeper realization of what He has saved you from and how overwhelming His love is towards you (do the same for me!). 

Ahh! I will name the fish Victor. That's VEEK-tore!!! 

One more thing, I think I am going to use paint for the rest of my illustrations. Let me know if this is lame...

Keep a Distance!

Something that might never cross your mind is to distance yourself from God. This comes naturally to us in our sinful nature, but as we discussed Joshua 3 in Bible class last Sunday, I was enlightened. The Israelites are preparing to cross the Jordan and:

 ...the officers went throughout the camp, giving orders to the people:"When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests, who are Levites, carrying it, you are to move out from your positions and follow it. Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before. But keep a distance of about a thousand yards between you and the ark; do not go near it". (Joshua 3:2-4)

What smacks me upside the head is that the Israelites did not know where they were going, just like me...pretty much every day. What's next? What is outside my control that might tempt me to worry and pace and get snappy with little students and my bride? If I determined my path everything would probably be smooth sailing, free from conflict (and growth!), and most everything would probably revolve around what makes me happy.

And God, loving me, doesn't settle for my way (praise Him for that!). Still, I forget to pay Him reverance...setting Him above all else and fixing my eyes upon Him. My doing, all the  clutter from life  gets piled around the LORD my God. Take a moment to reflect with me. So it is early Saturday morning, and it was already six days since we talked about this at church and my mind got working as people shared thoughts I hadn't thought, "If they didn't keep a huge distance between them and the ark, it would be chaos. They wouldn't know where to go."

That's often me, giving into anxiety, not setting the LORD our God before me. Instead, focusing on the difficulties or things that get in the way of what I want. Maybe it is even bad counsel or psychology. Shallow and transitory things, as well. Who knows. It doesn't compare to my Savior.

Colossians 3:1 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God."

Shai Linne

Alright. I found something I really dig and can be positive about. Thoughts?

Ambrosia and God's Will

Well, really, I would like to have something positive about something I heard. Not tonight. So I am just going to write this one down because I think it has to do with weakness and maybe something more-- I think it will dig into our own hearts a bit.

I was making the frantic dash to school a few mornings ago. My windows were dangerously shrouded with frost and I was huddled in the Saturn, shaking. As I waited to turn onto Lake Michigan Drive, I heard a lady who had called into a christian radio station and she was basically saying that God told her she would have a girl and she was to name her Ambrosia. Alright, maybe it was a dream or something and I missed that part. Well, she was so sure of this she didn't care to find out if it was going to be a girl because she knew it would be. People questioned her about what she would name this child if it were a boy. "Ambrosia" was her reply.

She spoke as if she were a belligerent redneck behind the wheels of a plow and any one who questioned her would be treated as snow. Wow, isn't this just like me? (prepare for a huge digression)A lack of listening? Complete defense of myself? Worship of myself and what I take as "God's will"? Yeah. Anyway, the topic of God's will is something I feel we can all too often use as a plow of this sort. In a crass sort of way, "Get the hell out of my way, I am carrying out God's will." Ironic, eh? Maybe we can just admit that we are constantly making bad decisions and that God sanctifies us despite these, through the blood of the lamb. I do need to look to His word and learn what He asks of me (mercy, love, compassion, generosity, purity, gentleness, devotion, wisdom, etc...) So, I am wondering if anyone runs into this type of stuff? I know IRF really helped me out with a way of looking at God's will in terms of tragedy, maybe you could elaborate on that, Brother.

OK, back to the radio show. I was feeling like a judgmental jerk. Maybe this lady really did hear from God.  She finished talking by saying that she did have a girl and we all know what she named her. Turns out she "is a real good kid and was the valedictorian in high school." Maybe this is where I will lose some of you, but, really? Is that what we are teaching our kids to be? Valedictorians? Maybe you, like me, are married to someone who was one or tried to be and can tell you the idolatry involved with a pursuit like that. Don't get me wrong, if it happens, it happens. But to make it your ambition to attain a goal such as that seems like "dross". I hope to encourage my children to learn.

This last part got me thinking about the weakness thing. I know I pursued grades for a few years in college and I really neglected opportunities to reach out and show love and mercy to some friends. Forgiven, but not cool. I may have looked academically strong to some, mostly to myself, but I didn't humble myself as much as I should have, stooping down to help friends in need. Maybe even offering a few more Walmart rides to my insanely patient roommate...

...and here I am. A bit exhausted and confused. Definitely feeling like a pilgrim in an unfamiliar land. Frustrated for sure about comments that really don't sound like God's love. Man, imagine busting your tail at work/school and looking awesome for your co-workers and boss, leaving your wife neglected and feeling unloved. I have been guilty of this, though, looking like a phony to my peers (Praise God for that!).

So if there are any thoughts on: weakness, God's will, marriage, balancing school/work/family, etc... please share! God be with you all and I pray we all gain a deeper understanding of the love that envelops us in Christ.


Disclaimer: Lots of this have been inspired by college students (myself included) in the past few years who have lived on the notion that college is a time to just focus on school. What if our entire lives were based on this premise? 

Have You Ever Had Your Hand Slammed in a Door?

As the day was ending Wednesday, I had to place something into our classroom closet. Our kindergartners were beginning their 20 minute process of putting snow gear on for their trip home. As I shut the closet door I heard possibly the most horrific sound I've ever heard (that's pretty bad considering how I spent three years a midst 170+ special needs students). Two little fingers, belonging to the kindest student of our room, had found their way into the side of the closet and they were trapped and pinched tight. I think I would have responded better to bullets whizzing past my face as I saw the girl's face and heard her shrieks. 

My mentor teacher quickly took her to the sink and began running cold water over her fingers. I felt so horrible. I was so mad at myself for bringing such pain to someone so delicate. Standing there, just staring, a few five-year-old sages, and sagettes (not a word yet?), told me that it was o.k. because, "My dad slammed my hand in the car door" and "my mom shut my fingers in the closet once". Wow. I am standing there like some moron-student-teacher and compassion hits me in the face like a snowball that melts the soul. And I melted, like a son who is accepted by a father after he blows a basketball game with a senseless foul. 

So, this experience got me thinking not only of compassion, but of the pain in our Heavenly Father's seeing His Son suffer and die. It must have been so intense. And for Mary and all the others who witnessed it. It must have rotted the stomach, turning it around and leaving it feeling as if a box of pins were swallowed. If they could even put words to it, it might have been summarized thus: Something absolutely horrible and wretched is happening. Yet, Something absolutely beautiful and redemptive was blossoming in the midst of this, through God made man. 

And here I am. A finger crusher. And I crush God's fingers and see a different face. It's not the face writhing in agony, as it must have. It is the face of the Father who loves his son in spite of his failure. The face stares at me through the Gospel and those who share it with me. Even the ones whose fingers I have crushed. An ocean of grace hits me with joy, leaving me floating with purpose, gratitude, and hope. May God's grace fill you likewise.

Luther was a universalist...

Luther was a universalist, didn't you know that? OK, I am hoping I got some Lutheran's attention out there. Actually, in his book "Love Wins", Rob Bell tries to say something along those lines.

He's a guy who started a church in our city here and you maybe heard something of him. Recently, Paula and I have really run into the depths of his "charms" and it is scary. We are praying for him and urge anyone to do likewise for him and others who so pervert the gospel, turning into something that is "really no gospel at all". 

So, in his book, he says this:

Others hold this perspective (that there is this lifetime and only this lifetime in which we all choose one of two possible futures), but they suggest a possibility involving the image of God in each of us. We can nurture and cultivate this divine image, or we can ignore, deny, and stifle it. If we can do this now, becoming less and less humane in our treatment of ourselves and others, what would happen if this went on unchecked for years and years? Would a person's humanity just ebb away eventually? Could a person reach the point of no longer bearing the image of God? Could the divine image be extinguished in a person, given enough time and neglect? Is there a possibility that, given enough time, some people could eventually move into a new state, one in which they were in essence "formerly human: or "posthuman" or even "ex-human?" 

An interesting question.

And then there are others who can live with two destinations, two realities after death, but insist that there must be some kind of "second chance" for those who don't believe in Jesus in this lifetime. In a letter Martin Luther, one of the leaders of the Protestant Reformation, wrote to Hans von Rechenberg in 1522 about the possibility that people could turn to God after death, asking: "Who would doubt God's ability to do that?"

Again, a good question.

And so space is created in this "who would doubt God's ability to do that?" perspective for all kinds of people-- fifteen-year-old atheists, people from other religions, and people who rejected Jesus because the only Jesus they ever saw was an oppressive figure who did anything but show God's love. 

Alright, I would like to hear thoughts on this. Maybe you've even read the book. I find this beneficial to discuss because Bell basically argues what agnostics, atheists, etc... argue and it would be awesome to be better equipped to lovingly correct these folks.

Weakness

One of my biggest struggles is to remember that I am nothing and Christ is everything, and, if I am to be anything, I need Him to fill me. Is this in the Christianity you hear about? See? Is it in your churches? What does the world say about weakness? Share your thoughts...

Alright, this is just my attempt to get something going here. I am fully prepared to fall flat on my face.