Go Fish.

No, it is not supposed to be an orange turd. It is actually my attempt at reconstructing a very touching gift I received from a student yesterday afternoon. I thought I would try to use Microsoft Paint and my memory of looking at the gift throughout the day.

After I got observed today, I started getting a bad headache and I found a place to sit and talk with some students. They were playing house and I was trying, with all my might, to engage them and find out what their world is like. Well, I am sitting on a chair that is about six inches of the ground, and a little female student comes up with an envelope for me. It has my name which surprised me and I opened it. I wasn't sure, but I had a good idea that it was supposed to be a fish. It was. She said that it was a goldfish for me.

If you know me, I am a gifts person. I am also a lover of animals and we do not have any. For a moment, I felt like I had actually received a pet, so I told my student, "Did you know that me and my wife don't have any pets?" She replied, with the most matter-of-fact tone I have ever heard, "Well, you have one now."

And I do. And her actions spoke love into my heart and they got me talking with Paula and we've decided we gotta make a home for this fake goldfish. Maybe even name it. Bring it into class even. And, maybe on Valentine's day, pretend to do some magic and turn it into a real one (ok, didn't talk that over with Paula yet, but she had a similar idea).

I am really getting sentimental here, even forgetting the main point of this. Our righteous deeds are like "menstrual rags"...well, if we rely on them and not Christ (look at Isaiah 64 and surrounding). But in Christ, all my silly works are sanctified and our Father sees them in Christ's light. And they...we...delight Him. It is so humbling and joyful to consider this. It is so magnificent to imagine how much our Father loves us...how incredible He feels about us.

I want to leave some verses here that really comfort me, especially when things feel a bit overwhelming and hopeless (they never are hopeless though!)

 “Where, O death, is your victory?
    Where, O death, is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

 - 1 Corinthians 15:55-58

I am hoping to think on this often.  When I consider the depths of my sin and what I deserve, this victory...this love hits me so hard, giving me more joy than a scribbled goldfish. I pray that God would give you all a deeper realization of what He has saved you from and how overwhelming His love is towards you (do the same for me!). 

Ahh! I will name the fish Victor. That's VEEK-tore!!! 

One more thing, I think I am going to use paint for the rest of my illustrations. Let me know if this is lame...

Keep a Distance!

Something that might never cross your mind is to distance yourself from God. This comes naturally to us in our sinful nature, but as we discussed Joshua 3 in Bible class last Sunday, I was enlightened. The Israelites are preparing to cross the Jordan and:

 ...the officers went throughout the camp, giving orders to the people:"When you see the ark of the covenant of the LORD your God, and the priests, who are Levites, carrying it, you are to move out from your positions and follow it. Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before. But keep a distance of about a thousand yards between you and the ark; do not go near it". (Joshua 3:2-4)

What smacks me upside the head is that the Israelites did not know where they were going, just like me...pretty much every day. What's next? What is outside my control that might tempt me to worry and pace and get snappy with little students and my bride? If I determined my path everything would probably be smooth sailing, free from conflict (and growth!), and most everything would probably revolve around what makes me happy.

And God, loving me, doesn't settle for my way (praise Him for that!). Still, I forget to pay Him reverance...setting Him above all else and fixing my eyes upon Him. My doing, all the  clutter from life  gets piled around the LORD my God. Take a moment to reflect with me. So it is early Saturday morning, and it was already six days since we talked about this at church and my mind got working as people shared thoughts I hadn't thought, "If they didn't keep a huge distance between them and the ark, it would be chaos. They wouldn't know where to go."

That's often me, giving into anxiety, not setting the LORD our God before me. Instead, focusing on the difficulties or things that get in the way of what I want. Maybe it is even bad counsel or psychology. Shallow and transitory things, as well. Who knows. It doesn't compare to my Savior.

Colossians 3:1 "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God."

Shai Linne

Alright. I found something I really dig and can be positive about. Thoughts?

Ambrosia and God's Will

Well, really, I would like to have something positive about something I heard. Not tonight. So I am just going to write this one down because I think it has to do with weakness and maybe something more-- I think it will dig into our own hearts a bit.

I was making the frantic dash to school a few mornings ago. My windows were dangerously shrouded with frost and I was huddled in the Saturn, shaking. As I waited to turn onto Lake Michigan Drive, I heard a lady who had called into a christian radio station and she was basically saying that God told her she would have a girl and she was to name her Ambrosia. Alright, maybe it was a dream or something and I missed that part. Well, she was so sure of this she didn't care to find out if it was going to be a girl because she knew it would be. People questioned her about what she would name this child if it were a boy. "Ambrosia" was her reply.

She spoke as if she were a belligerent redneck behind the wheels of a plow and any one who questioned her would be treated as snow. Wow, isn't this just like me? (prepare for a huge digression)A lack of listening? Complete defense of myself? Worship of myself and what I take as "God's will"? Yeah. Anyway, the topic of God's will is something I feel we can all too often use as a plow of this sort. In a crass sort of way, "Get the hell out of my way, I am carrying out God's will." Ironic, eh? Maybe we can just admit that we are constantly making bad decisions and that God sanctifies us despite these, through the blood of the lamb. I do need to look to His word and learn what He asks of me (mercy, love, compassion, generosity, purity, gentleness, devotion, wisdom, etc...) So, I am wondering if anyone runs into this type of stuff? I know IRF really helped me out with a way of looking at God's will in terms of tragedy, maybe you could elaborate on that, Brother.

OK, back to the radio show. I was feeling like a judgmental jerk. Maybe this lady really did hear from God.  She finished talking by saying that she did have a girl and we all know what she named her. Turns out she "is a real good kid and was the valedictorian in high school." Maybe this is where I will lose some of you, but, really? Is that what we are teaching our kids to be? Valedictorians? Maybe you, like me, are married to someone who was one or tried to be and can tell you the idolatry involved with a pursuit like that. Don't get me wrong, if it happens, it happens. But to make it your ambition to attain a goal such as that seems like "dross". I hope to encourage my children to learn.

This last part got me thinking about the weakness thing. I know I pursued grades for a few years in college and I really neglected opportunities to reach out and show love and mercy to some friends. Forgiven, but not cool. I may have looked academically strong to some, mostly to myself, but I didn't humble myself as much as I should have, stooping down to help friends in need. Maybe even offering a few more Walmart rides to my insanely patient roommate...

...and here I am. A bit exhausted and confused. Definitely feeling like a pilgrim in an unfamiliar land. Frustrated for sure about comments that really don't sound like God's love. Man, imagine busting your tail at work/school and looking awesome for your co-workers and boss, leaving your wife neglected and feeling unloved. I have been guilty of this, though, looking like a phony to my peers (Praise God for that!).

So if there are any thoughts on: weakness, God's will, marriage, balancing school/work/family, etc... please share! God be with you all and I pray we all gain a deeper understanding of the love that envelops us in Christ.


Disclaimer: Lots of this have been inspired by college students (myself included) in the past few years who have lived on the notion that college is a time to just focus on school. What if our entire lives were based on this premise? 

Have You Ever Had Your Hand Slammed in a Door?

As the day was ending Wednesday, I had to place something into our classroom closet. Our kindergartners were beginning their 20 minute process of putting snow gear on for their trip home. As I shut the closet door I heard possibly the most horrific sound I've ever heard (that's pretty bad considering how I spent three years a midst 170+ special needs students). Two little fingers, belonging to the kindest student of our room, had found their way into the side of the closet and they were trapped and pinched tight. I think I would have responded better to bullets whizzing past my face as I saw the girl's face and heard her shrieks. 

My mentor teacher quickly took her to the sink and began running cold water over her fingers. I felt so horrible. I was so mad at myself for bringing such pain to someone so delicate. Standing there, just staring, a few five-year-old sages, and sagettes (not a word yet?), told me that it was o.k. because, "My dad slammed my hand in the car door" and "my mom shut my fingers in the closet once". Wow. I am standing there like some moron-student-teacher and compassion hits me in the face like a snowball that melts the soul. And I melted, like a son who is accepted by a father after he blows a basketball game with a senseless foul. 

So, this experience got me thinking not only of compassion, but of the pain in our Heavenly Father's seeing His Son suffer and die. It must have been so intense. And for Mary and all the others who witnessed it. It must have rotted the stomach, turning it around and leaving it feeling as if a box of pins were swallowed. If they could even put words to it, it might have been summarized thus: Something absolutely horrible and wretched is happening. Yet, Something absolutely beautiful and redemptive was blossoming in the midst of this, through God made man. 

And here I am. A finger crusher. And I crush God's fingers and see a different face. It's not the face writhing in agony, as it must have. It is the face of the Father who loves his son in spite of his failure. The face stares at me through the Gospel and those who share it with me. Even the ones whose fingers I have crushed. An ocean of grace hits me with joy, leaving me floating with purpose, gratitude, and hope. May God's grace fill you likewise.

Luther was a universalist...

Luther was a universalist, didn't you know that? OK, I am hoping I got some Lutheran's attention out there. Actually, in his book "Love Wins", Rob Bell tries to say something along those lines.

He's a guy who started a church in our city here and you maybe heard something of him. Recently, Paula and I have really run into the depths of his "charms" and it is scary. We are praying for him and urge anyone to do likewise for him and others who so pervert the gospel, turning into something that is "really no gospel at all". 

So, in his book, he says this:

Others hold this perspective (that there is this lifetime and only this lifetime in which we all choose one of two possible futures), but they suggest a possibility involving the image of God in each of us. We can nurture and cultivate this divine image, or we can ignore, deny, and stifle it. If we can do this now, becoming less and less humane in our treatment of ourselves and others, what would happen if this went on unchecked for years and years? Would a person's humanity just ebb away eventually? Could a person reach the point of no longer bearing the image of God? Could the divine image be extinguished in a person, given enough time and neglect? Is there a possibility that, given enough time, some people could eventually move into a new state, one in which they were in essence "formerly human: or "posthuman" or even "ex-human?" 

An interesting question.

And then there are others who can live with two destinations, two realities after death, but insist that there must be some kind of "second chance" for those who don't believe in Jesus in this lifetime. In a letter Martin Luther, one of the leaders of the Protestant Reformation, wrote to Hans von Rechenberg in 1522 about the possibility that people could turn to God after death, asking: "Who would doubt God's ability to do that?"

Again, a good question.

And so space is created in this "who would doubt God's ability to do that?" perspective for all kinds of people-- fifteen-year-old atheists, people from other religions, and people who rejected Jesus because the only Jesus they ever saw was an oppressive figure who did anything but show God's love. 

Alright, I would like to hear thoughts on this. Maybe you've even read the book. I find this beneficial to discuss because Bell basically argues what agnostics, atheists, etc... argue and it would be awesome to be better equipped to lovingly correct these folks.

Weakness

One of my biggest struggles is to remember that I am nothing and Christ is everything, and, if I am to be anything, I need Him to fill me. Is this in the Christianity you hear about? See? Is it in your churches? What does the world say about weakness? Share your thoughts...

Alright, this is just my attempt to get something going here. I am fully prepared to fall flat on my face.